Justice League Review: We’ll Fix It In Post

Justice League is why I hate group projects. My idea for a project is to work on it early as possible, plan ahead, and retain one specific vision. What’s frustrating about group projects is having to rely on other people to not screw up the assignment. What’s really frustrating is when the teacher wants you to submit a draft, so they can give you tips to make your grade better or in this case, for a film to earn more money.

Teacher: You have too much Darkseid. Can you add more Steppenwolf?

Me: AHH shit okay, I mean I guess. I was kinda trying to have him appear at the end and I was going to spend more time on Cyborg but—

Teacher: Get him to say mother a lot.

Me: Oh like in Advent Children? I mean that could be kinda cool, but he works for Darkseid.

Teacher: If you have to leave it in just let him mention Darkseid.

Me: I mean…okay but why would he call three boxes, mother? Should I animate a lady when the boxes are together??

Teacher: NO, you’re making too complicated. But add the mom stuff. DC characters love their mom.

Suddenly a project you were focusing on your own, turns into a bunch of people yelling out ideas to make it better. Everyone wants to add their own spin to the story.

Group Member: AQUAMAN IS A BAD BOI.

Group Member: Flash is bad boi but cute boi too.

Group Member: Batman is the OG bad boi.

Group Member: No, too many bad boi’s.

Group Member: I WANT SUPERMAN TO BE EVIL IN ONE SCENE.

Me: He’s not in the movie right now?

Group Member: Let’s Frankenstein him like Zodd.

Me: WHAT another giant creature!?

Group Member: No! Do a smol superman…but evil and BRITISH MAYBE? Just for like a minute. Then back to normal. It will be cool scene.

Me: Jesus FINE.

Group Member: Superman came to set with a moustache now we have to film everything with a moustache in it.

Group member: Nah, just CGI remove it. We have plenty of money. Who gives a shit.

At this point I’m just trying to get this project done.

Me: Let’s get together on Friday to film.

Group Member: Nah, Wonder Woman can’t meet then.

Me: Okay Sunday?

Group Member: Flash is busy on that day.

Group Member: No worries man, I’ll just film all the scenes where they’re together with mostly close up shots. No one will be able to tell.

Me: TF that’s not going to work.

Group Member: Yeah it will. Just get b-roll of them reacting to stuff and then we’ll figure it out in editing.

Group Member: SOMEONE MAKE SURE TO GET CYBORG TO SAY BOOYAH

Group Member: When I recorded Aquaman he kept yelling, can we keep it in?

Me: I mean, I GUESS. It’s too late now, isn’t it?

Group Member: OOPS. I filmed Batman with a beard, does he have a beard in the rest of the movie?

Me: WHAT NO HE DOESN’T

Group Member: No worries, I’ll fix it. I just put some shaving cream on his chin and make it look like he was shaving real quick.

Me: BUT WHY DID HE HAVE A BEARD.

Group Member: IT WAS COLD WHERE HE WAS IT WILL MAKE SENSE I PROMISE.

Me: Okay we have them all together for 2 days. Let’s story board what we need.

Group Member: I think we’ll be okay winging it. Just need to get them jumping out of stuff, right?

Group Member: Yo, someone crank Batman’s voice modulator UP. MY BOY NEEDS TO BE SICKENING

 

Zach Snyder had a personal tragedy that pulled him out of post-production, but consider Joss Whedon (his replacement) has a completely different style than Snyder.

Also weird, because Joss Whedon liked this tweet.

Producer Charles Roven said “The goal is to make sure when you’re watching the movie, it all feels cohesive… That imprint that Joss had, some aspect of it is going to come out in the direction, but the actors are already pretty much down the road on their arcs…Let’s just say 80, 85% of the movie is what was originally shot. There’s only so much you can do with other 15, 20% of the movie.”

YIKES MY BOY IT DID NOT WORK.

But in a weird way the movie does work…just only in the same way The Room works.

He did not hit her.

Like The Room, you kinda help but can’t laugh at some of the attempts at humor, the overuse of cutaways, the ham-fisted way the story progresses, and like I said earlier, the same use of close-ups over and over again.

There’s this one scene where Cyborg is talking to his dad and then in the middle of his dad talking, he uses his jet boots to hover in the room, “I couldn’t do that yesterday.” He says. It’s meant to come across I think as snarky, but the cut and timing of the moment made it accidentally hilarious. When I guffawed at this moment in theaters, I realized no one else chuckled. It felt like when you laugh at someone falling and then realize your friends aren’t laughing so you feel like a jerk.

My favorite part personally was where Justice League turned into a Lord of The Rings fan film. HOT DARN. I wasn’t even mad. I laughed and cheered, and I couldn’t believe it. When Galadriel Wonder Woman was telling the story of the 3 rings—err I mean boxes, the scene was quintessential Snyder. It looked beautiful, had a distinct atmosphere. I mean it was Lord of the Rings, but I’m giving it to him because it looked so cool, and was a really needed aspect of a superhero film which had another forgettable villain. The scene managed to add some beauty to the film besides Wonder Woman’s smirk and Aquaman’s abs.

im dead

It’s really stupid, but I enjoyed Justice League for the giant mess that it is. There were even a few moments that weren’t too bad. I think it did it’s job in introducing new heroes, and setting up for another film relatively easily, even if it is an easy target to poke fun of. Batman is in on how much of a joke he is. Aquaman is a bad boy who tries very hard to be a bad boy. Cyborg is moody and sad, but his voice is just lovely and they hinted at him lightening up in the future. Flash is GOLDEN; he’s truly funny and his relationship with his dad was very cool to see. Wonder Woman is delightful. Superman was there. Injustice the video game has better CGI than this film.

THANK YOU FOR THIS SNYDER

 

The film just barely scrambles together to get the minimum level required to not be as bad at Batman Versus Superman. It’s a real mess. It felt like I was watching a movie while on my phone, but I wasn’t. I was sober, very awake, and somehow it’s still so forgettable, but again, it works if you accept how hopelessly silly it is. So for Justice League, I give it 1 participation trophy out of 1.

 

Betty Windsor is a film snob and co-host of  Geek Versus Week. Her favorite DC character is Cyborg. She believes a polished turd still smells.

If You Are Tyler Durden Levels of Infuriated With How Beautiful Jared Leto Is, Then Mr. Nobody is Not For You

WHAT AM I WATCHING!?: Mr. Nobody is the sort of existential film that you’ll either enjoy or feel like you’re supposed to enjoy which may ultimately piss you off. If you’re not a big fan of introspective science fiction that doesn’t explain the artistic nonsense happening throughout, then find something less tiresome on Netflix at 3 in the morning. Mr. Nobody is a film based more on philosophy and certainly doesn’t take for granted the way it strings along the audience on nonlinear paths.

GENERAL PLOTNESS: Nemo is over a 100 years old and is going to be the last person to die in a quasi-immortal world. The human race is obsessed with him, but no one understands who he is. So, the story reveals itself in a series of flashbacks from different possible universes. We see various outcomes showing what would happen if he changed one key decision: 3 lives, 3 wives, and 3 paths essentially. He is questioned Interview-With-A-Vampire-style by a character who is meant to represent the audience’s confused stance while watching the film. These flashbacks flow into one another frequently without the Old Nemo stopping to correct or explain. Neither are they served up for you on a platter with Nemo exclaiming “Here is flashback No. 1.  I hope you’re very moved by my misfortune!” At one moment he may be married to his wife from his 2nd path, only to find himself waking up to children during his 3rd path. The way the scenes flow together are really what make the film stand out, and are honestly beautiful enough to make the film worth a watch.

THE GOOD: Every life that he has from that point onward varies. Nemo seems to be stuck understanding all of the timelines and each possibility, while weighing carefully which to keep like a semi omnipotent time traveler. The film effortlessly switches between these decisions, leaving audience members hopefully fascinated with understanding instead of frustrated by indiscretion. This is not a film that is going to explain itself to you. So if that sounds like a hindrance I wouldn’t bother watching. Reading into the fine print and analyzing are key features of the film. At times it can seem a bit overly dramatic, but ultimately has the potential to be very moving.

THE BAD: At times Nemo can come across as a blank but beautiful face, and since he exists in hundreds of timelines it’s difficult to pinpoint specific traits to his personality. Honestly, Jared Leto is entirely too beautiful. It’s distracting. I’m not saying that’s a legitimate criticism at all. So feel free to ignore that remark if it doesn’t apply. But for any of you that, as Patton Oswalt said, have been “mesmerized by Jared Leto’s cult leader eyes,” that will certainly play a part in how sympathetic you feel towards Leto’s character.

Hammy acting from old man Jared Leto is ultimately its biggest downfall. The film chooses to have different actors play the main characters as a child/teenager/adult. But instead of hiring an old man, they decided to heap on pounds of Raisin Bran skin on Leto. For some, it puts an offbeat spin to a tale that takes itself very seriously.  But if you find old people makeup distracting like I do, then it’ll seem very off.

THE OVERALL: With that being said, I thought it was pretty good. I wouldn’t call it brilliant.  The movie borrows too much from its predecessors, leaving little for itself.  This was the director/writer Jaco van Dormael’s second full length film, and ignoring the similarities of other movies in this genre would be pointless. It lacks the rawness of Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind, and the dire yet whimsical nature often associated with Michael Gondry. The style is very similar to The Fountain. It can be a bit sappy like I Heart Huckabees. But it shares elements of them all which may be enough to make it stand alone.

TL;DR: Very beautiful though a bit too pleased with itself. In the end Mr. Nobody is at least worth the watch, with the ending either making you feel cheated or fulfilled.

Mr. Nobody is currently available on Netflix.