You Need To See Annihilation!


Have you not see Annihilation yet?  

Why not?  You really should go check it out while you have a chance to see it in the theatre.  I’m warning you now, it’s a bit of a slow movie, but it’s some awesome hard sci-fi that we don’t get often in theaters.  Here’s the thing, I don’t really want to say too much more, so I’ll just leave you with the description below.  If you enjoyed Ex Machina, and The Fountain, you should give Annihilation a chance.

Still unsure, check out a snippet from The Geek Vs podcast above where we’ll give you some idea of what you’re getting into without spoiling it, but it’s safe to say, we all loved it!

About Annihilation

Annihilation is a 2018 science fiction horror film written and directed by Alex Garland, based on the novel of the same name by Jeff VanderMeer. The film stars Natalie Portman, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Gina Rodriguez, Tessa Thompson, Tuva Novotny, and Oscar Isaac, and follows a group of military scientists who enter “The Shimmer”, a mysterious quarantined zone full of mutating landscapes and creatures.

About the Geek vs podcast

Things are about to get weird when Tony, Casey, and Betty get together weekly to provide a “nerd’s eye view of pop culture.”  These only children geeks have somehow managed not to kill each other, as they do battle with movies, television, and all things pop culture. If you like podcasts similar to “Nerdist” and “ID10T”, more diverse than “2 Dope Queens”, and completely opposite of  “My Brother, My Brother, and Me,” you should check out “Geek Vs.”

Complete List of Razzies Winners

emoji movie

We predicted the winners (or is it losers) in a previous episode of the “Geek vs” podcast, but the time for guessing is over as the winners were selected this past weekend.   The complete list of “winners” are below.

See the full list of “winners” below:

The Emoji Movie

Tyler Perry for BOO! 2: A Medea Halloween

Tom Cruise for The Mummy

Mel Gibson for Daddy’s Home 2

Kim Basinger for Fifty Shades Darker

Any Two Obnoxious Emojis in The Emoji Movie

Fifty Shades Darker

Anthony (Tony) Leondis for The Emoji Movie


The Emoji Movie, screenplay by Tony Leondis, Eric Siegel, and Mike White

The Razzie Awards are determined by what the organization calls “our 1,000 worldwide voting membership body” from 27 countries and every U.S. state except Montana.

5 Geeky Gift Ideas (under $30)

geek gifts

The holidays are upon us, and if you’re anything like me, that means the gift giving anxiety has begun to kick in.  Which is why I thought I would share 5 Geeky Gift ideas that will make you the hit of any holiday gathering.

star wars porg

1. The Last Jedi: Life-Sized Interactive Action Porg Plush

Love them or hate them, those small, loveable, avians that flock around Luke Skywalker’s secluded homeworld in the latest Star Wars movie are all the rage.  With the movie coming out two weeks before Christmas, the interactive Porg Plush is already one of the hottest toys of the year. $29.99 with Amazon Prime 

amazon echo dot

2. Amazon Echo Dot

It seems everywhere you look there’s some new product with voice recognition that you can talk to, but the Amazon line of products are the front runners of this technology.  The Amazon Echo Dot is an affordable way to see what all the fuss is about.  The Echo Dot can play music, control electronics around your house, make phone calls, and even tell you a joke. $29.99 with Amazon Prime

star trek pizza cutter

3. Star Trek pizza cutter 

Live long and prosper with pizza.  This one doesn’t require much explanation.  It’s a pizza cutter in the shape of the famed Star Trek Enterprise.  The perfect gift for the pizza loving Star Trek fan in your life. $20.20 with Amazon Prime

captain america cutting board

4. Captain America Cutting Board 

Tired of having pizza every night, but you still want to show your geeky side.  Break out the Captain America cutting board and be a hero for your country, or at least your kitchen. $19.99 with Amazon Prime

codenames board game

5. Codenames

A personal favorite, and a guaranteed good time In Codenames, two teams compete to see who can make contact with all of their agents first. Spymasters give one-word clues that can point to multiple words on the board. Their teammates try to guess words of the right color while avoiding those that belong to the opposing team. And everyone wants to avoid the assassin. Codenames: Win or lose, it’s fun to figure out the clues. $14.88 with Amazon Prime


Don’t have Amazon Prime, no problem!  They offer a free 30 day trial which will be just long enough to get you through your Christmas shopping.  In the meantime you can enjoy free movies/tv episodes, borrow kindle books, and free two-day shipping. I hope this gift guide has helped give you some ideas without breaking the bank.  Happy Holidays.


Justice League Review: We’ll Fix It In Post

Justice League is why I hate group projects. My idea for a project is to work on it early as possible, plan ahead, and retain one specific vision. What’s frustrating about group projects is having to rely on other people to not screw up the assignment. What’s really frustrating is when the teacher wants you to submit a draft, so they can give you tips to make your grade better or in this case, for a film to earn more money.

Teacher: You have too much Darkseid. Can you add more Steppenwolf?

Me: AHH shit okay, I mean I guess. I was kinda trying to have him appear at the end and I was going to spend more time on Cyborg but—

Teacher: Get him to say mother a lot.

Me: Oh like in Advent Children? I mean that could be kinda cool, but he works for Darkseid.

Teacher: If you have to leave it in just let him mention Darkseid.

Me: I mean…okay but why would he call three boxes, mother? Should I animate a lady when the boxes are together??

Teacher: NO, you’re making too complicated. But add the mom stuff. DC characters love their mom.

Suddenly a project you were focusing on your own, turns into a bunch of people yelling out ideas to make it better. Everyone wants to add their own spin to the story.


Group Member: Flash is bad boi but cute boi too.

Group Member: Batman is the OG bad boi.

Group Member: No, too many bad boi’s.


Me: He’s not in the movie right now?

Group Member: Let’s Frankenstein him like Zodd.

Me: WHAT another giant creature!?

Group Member: No! Do a smol superman…but evil and BRITISH MAYBE? Just for like a minute. Then back to normal. It will be cool scene.

Me: Jesus FINE.

Group Member: Superman came to set with a moustache now we have to film everything with a moustache in it.

Group member: Nah, just CGI remove it. We have plenty of money. Who gives a shit.

At this point I’m just trying to get this project done.

Me: Let’s get together on Friday to film.

Group Member: Nah, Wonder Woman can’t meet then.

Me: Okay Sunday?

Group Member: Flash is busy on that day.

Group Member: No worries man, I’ll just film all the scenes where they’re together with mostly close up shots. No one will be able to tell.

Me: TF that’s not going to work.

Group Member: Yeah it will. Just get b-roll of them reacting to stuff and then we’ll figure it out in editing.


Group Member: When I recorded Aquaman he kept yelling, can we keep it in?

Me: I mean, I GUESS. It’s too late now, isn’t it?

Group Member: OOPS. I filmed Batman with a beard, does he have a beard in the rest of the movie?


Group Member: No worries, I’ll fix it. I just put some shaving cream on his chin and make it look like he was shaving real quick.



Me: Okay we have them all together for 2 days. Let’s story board what we need.

Group Member: I think we’ll be okay winging it. Just need to get them jumping out of stuff, right?

Group Member: Yo, someone crank Batman’s voice modulator UP. MY BOY NEEDS TO BE SICKENING


Zach Snyder had a personal tragedy that pulled him out of post-production, but consider Joss Whedon (his replacement) has a completely different style than Snyder.

Also weird, because Joss Whedon liked this tweet.

Producer Charles Roven said “The goal is to make sure when you’re watching the movie, it all feels cohesive… That imprint that Joss had, some aspect of it is going to come out in the direction, but the actors are already pretty much down the road on their arcs…Let’s just say 80, 85% of the movie is what was originally shot. There’s only so much you can do with other 15, 20% of the movie.”


But in a weird way the movie does work…just only in the same way The Room works.

He did not hit her.

Like The Room, you kinda help but can’t laugh at some of the attempts at humor, the overuse of cutaways, the ham-fisted way the story progresses, and like I said earlier, the same use of close-ups over and over again.

There’s this one scene where Cyborg is talking to his dad and then in the middle of his dad talking, he uses his jet boots to hover in the room, “I couldn’t do that yesterday.” He says. It’s meant to come across I think as snarky, but the cut and timing of the moment made it accidentally hilarious. When I guffawed at this moment in theaters, I realized no one else chuckled. It felt like when you laugh at someone falling and then realize your friends aren’t laughing so you feel like a jerk.

My favorite part personally was where Justice League turned into a Lord of The Rings fan film. HOT DARN. I wasn’t even mad. I laughed and cheered, and I couldn’t believe it. When Galadriel Wonder Woman was telling the story of the 3 rings—err I mean boxes, the scene was quintessential Snyder. It looked beautiful, had a distinct atmosphere. I mean it was Lord of the Rings, but I’m giving it to him because it looked so cool, and was a really needed aspect of a superhero film which had another forgettable villain. The scene managed to add some beauty to the film besides Wonder Woman’s smirk and Aquaman’s abs.

im dead

It’s really stupid, but I enjoyed Justice League for the giant mess that it is. There were even a few moments that weren’t too bad. I think it did it’s job in introducing new heroes, and setting up for another film relatively easily, even if it is an easy target to poke fun of. Batman is in on how much of a joke he is. Aquaman is a bad boy who tries very hard to be a bad boy. Cyborg is moody and sad, but his voice is just lovely and they hinted at him lightening up in the future. Flash is GOLDEN; he’s truly funny and his relationship with his dad was very cool to see. Wonder Woman is delightful. Superman was there. Injustice the video game has better CGI than this film.



The film just barely scrambles together to get the minimum level required to not be as bad at Batman Versus Superman. It’s a real mess. It felt like I was watching a movie while on my phone, but I wasn’t. I was sober, very awake, and somehow it’s still so forgettable, but again, it works if you accept how hopelessly silly it is. So for Justice League, I give it 1 participation trophy out of 1.


Betty Windsor is a film snob and co-host of  Geek Versus Week. Her favorite DC character is Cyborg. She believes a polished turd still smells.

A Timely Review: Murder on the Orient Express

Director: Kenneth Branagh
Some Other Works: Cinderella (2015), Thor (2011), Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit (2014), Much Ado About Nothing (1993)
Screenwriter: Michael Green
Some Other Works: BladeRunner 2049 (2017), American Gods (TV series 2017-), Logan (2017), Alien: Covenant (2017)
Cast: Kenneth Branagh, Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Willem Defoe, Penelope Cruz, Daisy Ridley, Josh Gad, Leslie Odom Jr, Judi Dench, and even fucking more than that geez.
Synopsis: A lavish train ride unfolds into a stylish & suspenseful mystery. From the novel by Agatha Christie, Murder on the Orient Express tells of thirteen stranded strangers & one man’s race to solve the puzzle before the murderer strikes again.

This was the first film directed by Kenneth Branagh in a long time that I thoroughly enjoyed. Usually, I find a certain gravitas to be lacking in his more expensive films, but his mix of humor and melodrama is well suited to tell this story.

First of all, Kenneth Branagh isn’t David Suchet, and that’s okay everyone. Like seriously, it’ll be alright. You fucking nerds.

Not Kenneth Branagh

Branagh excels at telling character driven, monologue heavy, stories suited or adapted from, in most cases, the stage. I was very surprised to find that this film had a lot of negative reviews. Most of them saying something like “why did he remake this? The other poirots are dope. Everyone knows the story hur dur.”

Let me say this, if you already know the ending to Agatha Christie’s tale, just chill the fuck out. A lot of people know it. If you loved this story in another form, that’s cool. This isn’t it though. That’s fucking okay. Nobody has taken it from you. It’s still wherever you left it last, kiddo. I really love a quote Kenneth Branagh makes in regards to some of the small changes he made in the adaptation.

“In a world where you know people are responsive to murder mysteries, you have to start differently, and do different things with the plot. And as soon as that happens, people start wondering what else could be different,” he says. Then he adds, laughing, “And I think a lot of people fib about saying they know what’s going on anyway.”

The truth.

Branagh directs as thought the audience were at a play. The impressive cast adds to this element, which may cause some to assume they’ll be getting a lot of juicy arguments and interconnected dialogue. This isn’t the case. The audience stays close to Poirot the entire film, and he spends plenty of time investigating. So, the supporting cast has fewer lines, but they all get an opportunity to tell their story. I think some may see this as a con, but for the purpose of the story, the casting of people who seem to only look very interesting is intentional.

Murder on the Orient Express is a character drama. Some have found it uncompelling, I can’t agree. The moral guidelines Poirot stands by at the beginning of the film become quandaries by the end. The parallels are there, and well done if not slightly ham-fisted by movie standards. I’d argue, not by stage ones. The movie really just… works.

The reveal to the mystery is slow, and revelatory. It takes the time to set up an emotional climax. This is where the all-star cast really shines. The reveal scene has a build up where all of the suspects sit on one side of long table, as he stands on the other side, prepared to give out his judgement. It’s a gorgeous shot, meant to mimic the last supper.

It’s here I’d like to remind fellow film goers that in films which have a mystery, it’s not always about how good the twist gets you, but rather how well it’s drawn out when you already know the answer. This film isn’t a one shot “twist”. It’s a true mystery, and we have Agatha Christie to thank for that.


It isn’t a brilliant film by any means, but I’d argue it’s a respectable one.


Betty Windsor is a film snob and co-host of  shows Geek Versus Week. She does not normally say FUCK this much in a film review. 

Disney Just Announced Release Dates for 20 Films!

Everyone mark your calendar!


Thor: Ragnarok: November 3, 2017
Coco: November 23, 2017
Star Wars: The Last Jedi: December 15, 2017
Black Panther: February 16, 2018
A Wrinkle in Time: March 9, 2018
Dolphins: April 20, 2018
Avengers: Infinity War: May 4, 2018
Untitled Han Solo Project: May 25, 2018
The Incredibles 2June 15, 2018
Untitled Christopher Robin Project: April 3, 2018
The Nutcracker and the Four Realms: November 2, 2018
Ralph Breaks the Internet: Wreck-It Ralph 2: November 21, 2018
Mary Poppins Returns: December 25, 2018
Dumbo: March 29, 2019
Untitled Toontown Studios Film: April 12, 2019
Live-Action Aladdin: May 24, 2019
Toy Story 4: June 21, 2019
Artemis Fowl: August 9, 2019
Nicole: November 8, 2019
Star WarsEpisode IX: December 20, 2019

‘Gook’ Trailer: Justin Chon tackles a new perspective on the LA Riots

The provocatively titled Gook is about two brothers running their father’s shoe store amidst the fallout of the Rodney King era in 90’s L.A. These two brothers strike up a unique and unlikely friendship with an 11-year-old African American girl. As Daniel dreams of becoming a recording artist and Eli struggles to keep the store afloat, racial tensions build to a breaking point as the L.A. Riots break out.

Chon is inspired by Spike Lee’s Do The Right Thing and this film seems to appear almost as homage. Gook premiered earlier this year at Sundace winning Audience Award. It is set to release in theaters August 18 in L.A.
Continue reading “‘Gook’ Trailer: Justin Chon tackles a new perspective on the LA Riots”

The Adventures of B.J. Craft | Episode 4

BJ Craft 4

If you’ve missed any of the previous installments, get caught up first.  Episode 1, Episode 2, and Episode 3 can all be found at the links above. 


The Adventures of B.J. Craft

By Michael J. Allen

Episode Four: Wishful Dying


The officer pointed his gun down at Pihaa. “Drop it, chica. You’re only going to reach a hospital in time if you surrender now.”

BJ stared at the tableaux. His imagination held a gun pointed up at the last of the Mexican authorities. Her confiscated revolver pointed at the man’s heart without the tiniest shake, even despite the blood running down one perfect breast.

The other two officers lay supine in jungle mud. He didn’t have any ID—probably swapped by Pihaa for the stolen goods as some kind of joke—so they hadn’t identified him. The ship would dock in Mexico once more before they made it home. They knew he was on a cruise ship. They could find him.

“Surrender or die,” the officer said. “What are you going to do?”

“I’m not sure.” Pihaa said. “Usually there’re voices in my ear, telling me what to do. The cheers and boos of a cosmic reader, but everything is very, very quiet right now. Just me and how I’m made.”

“Put the gun down.”

“Thought through the plot lines down each path?” She fixed BJ with her eyes. “BJ, haven’t you worked it out yet?”

The officer fired once then again before turning the gun toward BJ. “On your knees.”

“Why?” BJ stared at Pihaa, the burn on his arm prickling. A small part of him felt relief that she was gone, but she’d been like a real person. He’d never seen anyone actually killed before. He knelt in the mud, eyes never leaving the pert smile on her lips.

“Had to put the crazy bitch down. Hands behind your head.”

Her life’s over, but mine’s ruined. What am I going to do now?

Pihaa’s words ran through his mind as cold metal wrapped around his wrists. He considered the situation like a novel. If she’d killed one she’d have had to kill the others. Guilt alone would’ve forced him to confess—even if her actions weren’t completely his doing. If she’d left them unconscious, they might’ve searched all the cruise ships. They might’ve located him, adding assaulting an officer, resisting arrest and who knew what else to the battery of charges. They’d arrested him for petty theft. It was a disaster, but it might be one he could get out of yet.

But was that all she meant?

The officer left him where he was, rousing the other two. They lifted him and led him back toward the ruins. Another horseback excursion group rode by, all eyes on his walk of shame. Something about one the riders struck him as familiar. He wrenched his neck around. She met his eyes. It wasn’t Pihaa.

Wishful thinking?

They shoved him forward, prodding him occasionally until they stepped out of the jungle into the huge clearing around the ruins. He scanned for police vehicles.

How’d the souvenir shop get them out here so fast?

They dragged BJ around the tourist trap, in a backdoor and inside a tiny room that reeked of cigar smoke and beer. A card game lay abandoned in the first room. An archway opened up to a table, a cot and a tiny empty cell.

“Rudy, call it in,” the first officer said.

“Why me, Julio?” the second officer asked. “Why not Miguel?”

“Don’t volunteer me, pendejo,” Miguel said.

Julio pointed. “Rudy, radio. Miguel, print him.”

Rudy rubbed the spot Pihaa’d hit him and dragged his feet over to a radio. Miguel dug through filing cabinet drawers beneath the table, retrieving a camera several decades out of date and a fingerprinting kit.

They manhandled BJ through both and shoved him into the cell. Urine overtook cigar as a fax machine squealed on the old table. He flopped down onto concrete and stared into space trying to figure out what he should do next.  A girl showed up an hour later with a basket containing three meals. The scent roused his stomach, but he didn’t get one.

BJ reached for his phone out of habit, before he remembered that Pihaa’d stolen it before she died. He found it in his pocket. He’d missed three calls and a half dozen texts from Morgan.

How the hell? Should I text her back? Tell her to call a lawyer? His thoughts shifted to her soft and warm against him. Their last words had been an argument. They’d made love that morning—before the fight—though it felt like he hadn’t seen her in a month. Which will she remember if I don’t make it out of this? Stop it, BJ, this is just petty theft. All those stories about Latin American jails are just that, stories. She’ll get me a lawyer. It’ll be fine. I’ll buy a ring and…

The door slammed open. Everyone jumped. A woman strode into the room in a pant suit and sunglasses. She smirked at BJ and slapped a stack of paperwork onto the card table. “I’m here for the prisoner.”

Pihaa? BJ gaped. Her hair was slightly changed and either her clothes made her build look different or it actually was, but there could be no question. But how? They shot her. She died.

All three officers looked at BJ then turned their heads slowly back to her. Julio spoke. “Who are you?”

She leaned close enough to kiss him, her nose wrinkling as she jabbed the paperwork. “All you need to know is right there.”

“You look familiar,” Rudy said.

“You don’t,” Pihaa said. “But you can get him out of that cell so I can be on my way.”

Julio put down the paperwork. “This says he’s a known terrorist.”

“Yup,” Pihaa smiled.

“That guy?” Julio asked.

“Yep,” she said.

BJ struggled against stiff joints to stand against the bars.

That guy?” he repeated.

Pihaa exhaled. “Yes, the guy in your cell has masterminded more crimes and acts of terror that Robert Ludlum.”

“Who?” Miguel asked.

She patted his cheeks. “Get a library card, sweetie.”

BJ restrained a groan.

“I’m radioing this in,” Julio said.

Pihaa shrugged. “Suit yourself, but I don’t have all night.”

She stepped through the alcove while the officer talked to his headquarters.

“We’ve got you now, you sick bastard.” She sneered at BJ. She snatched up the photo, the fingerprint card and the combined fax of them both. “You’re going to pay for all the good guys and nefarious characters you’ve tortured.”

“What are you doing?” Miguel asked.

“It’s all in the transfer order,” Pihaa said. “We need all the evidence. Wouldn’t want him to escape even an hour of what he deserves.”

Julio put down the radio. BJ’d been so distracted by the walking corpse, he hadn’t listened to their conversation. The set of the officer’s jaw made BJ’s gut writhe. Pihaa’s back was to Julio, if he attacked her, what would happen?

Are we busted? Do I warn her or let her play this out?

Leave your feedback in the comments below, and stay tuned for the next installment of The Adventures of BJ Craft.

The Adventures of B.J. Craft | Episode 3

BJ Craft 3

You’re about to read Episode 3.  You should probably read Episode 2 first, and if you’re really new, jump all the way back to Episode 1


The Adventures of B.J. Craft

By Michael J. Allen

 Episode Three: Catch & Release

BJ wheeled his mare to face up the path. I’ve only got her word for it.

The horse stepped side to side, pacing anxiously in response to his own tumultuous emotions. He stroked her neck, reassuring her with tones he didn’t feel.

How the hell does an imaginary entity steal and how did she get this stuff in my pockets? He turned over the stolen goods in his hand. A cold welled up in his gut. What if she isn’t lying? I’ve no idea how she’d look on video hiding stolen merchandise in my pockets, but it won’t be good for me.

He scanned the clearing. He could wait, hope he could explain things—if the next people up the trail were actually pursuing him. He could gallop after her—of course, if it were law enforcement they’d only have to radio ahead to someone further along the tour.

“What do I do?”

BJ hurled the stolen goods into the foliage and galloped up the path in Pihaa’s wake. Pihaa? Where did that name come from?

He ground to a stop almost at once, dismounted and led his mare off the path into the forest. He circled back the opposite way, keeping out of sight of path and clearing. Jungle sounds quieted at his approach. The clicks of insects and bird calls eerie in their absence. One foot sank into mud—he hoped it was just mud—releasing a rotted smell like skunk cabbage into the air. He hid his mare behind a tree and leaned around its trunk, shaking one foot to dislodge the ick. Through the thick foliage, he barely made out a group of uniformed men that cemented both his fear and Pihaa into reality.

Her name probably means venomous viper in some language I glanced through who knows when.

“That’s not very complimentary, BJ.”

BJ started, crying out. “Where did you come from?”

She touched the burn on his arm.

He snatched his arm away. “You’re not imaginary.”

“Sure I am.”

“Well, okay, but you’re real too. How is that possible?”

“You’re an idiot.” Pihaa folded arms over her chest. “How did you ever get on the best seller’s list?”

A baritone explosion of sound filled the jungle. “Stop where you are.”

BJ stiffened. He glanced from the approaching authorities to the space Pihaa no longer occupied.

The lead man pulled an old revolver. BJ’s research had delved into old guns during a writing stint of gumshoe novels. The weapon seemed familiar but pointed at him, BJ couldn’t recall its model.

“Don’t move.”

“I’m s-sorry,” BJ’s mind raced. You’re a story teller, tell them a story.

“Raise your hands up slowly.”

“Can I check my fly first? I suddenly can’t remember whether or not I zipped up,” a nervous chuckle escaped BJ. “It might be the gun.”


A second man moved around to BJ’s rear. He reached out hands patting BJ down. I’m so glad I threw that stuff—

The officer extracted one of the bracelets BJ knew he’d dumped into the jungle. “What’s this?”

“Mor-my girlfriend’s bracelet? She’s always leaving things around.”

The first officer darkened. “Always picking stuff up, too, I’ll bet.”

BJ straightened. “Look, I don’t know exactly what this’s about, but I’m pretty sure it isn’t illegal to urinate in the jungle.”

The second man turned out more stolen items from BJ’s pockets. “Petty theft is. We’re arresting you.”

“Where’s your accomplice?” the first asked.

“I don’t have one. I didn’t steal anything,” BJ said.

The third officer snorted. “Sure. You’re innocent. You’re being framed by corrupt Mexican police.”

“N-no,” BJ said. “I mean yes, I’m innocent. I didn’t take those things, but I’m not suggesting you’re corrupt.”

“Let me get this straight,” the first asked. “Some woman you don’t know, but you call your girlfriend stole all this stuff and put it in your pockets? Why would she do that?”

“My girlfriend didn’t come on this excursion. If some woman put that stuff in my pockets, I can’t imagine why,” BJ said. Other than to get me into this predicament.

“If you’re from a cruise ship, where’s your ID? Your passport?” The first officer asked.

BJ frowned. “In my back pocket?”

The second office shook his head. “Empty.”

Great, how am I going to get back on—wait, no ID? Nothing to identify me?

BJ assessed the three men. Only one was burly, but they probably knew and understood the terrain better than he ever would. He could make a break for it, try escaping. If he tried and failed, he’d be stuck with a lot worse than charges of petty theft.

No. It won’t work. I’d need a distraction and even then—

“Hello, boys.” Pihaa stepped out of the brush behind the officers completely naked. “You want to hurry up and finish with my boyfriend? A girl has needs.”

BJ and the other men froze, mesmerized by the perfectly shaped flesh glistening with sweat. Her mouth hardened and her eyes flicked. BJ didn’t move. She gestured ever so slightly behind him with her chin while hands drew distracting lines down her chest that tightened more than BJ’s gut.

“Oh, sweet Jesus, BJ.” Pihaa rolled her eyes. “Run already.”

She grabbed the nearest officer by his shirt and slammed a heavily ringed fist into his face. Stunned by a naked woman or not, training took over. The officers leapt at her. A knee to the groin dropped the nearest officer, and a spin kick dropped the second.

BJ bolted into the woods.

A gun barked.

She’s imaginary. She’ll be fine. She’s not real. He froze. Cursing himself, BJ whipped back around. The first officer loomed over Pihaa and a smoking revolver. She crumpled against a tree. Blood welled from one perforated breast.

The officer turned his gun toward BJ.

“I said run, you dolt,” Pihaa rasped. She pointed a revolver up at the last standing officer. “I liked this body, bastard. You’d better hope that doesn’t scar.”



The Woman Behind The American Gods Finale

The first season of American Gods wrapped up yesterday with a bang of a season finale. As a fan of both the book and Bryan Fuller I have been incredibly pleased with this season, but that’s a review for another time. What I’d really like to talk about is Floria Sigismoni.

Sign me up as a sacrifice to Queen Bilqis

In January, I decided to take a past time I had of watching and studying music videos, and do something useful with it. I began keeping track of the best music videos I had seen each month form them into a list. When I got to May I was struck a particular music video. It has to be in the top 3 I had seen this year. Perfume Genius “Die 4 U“.

It’s eerie yet intimate nature had me entranced. I had to know who directed it, and that’s when I discovered Floria Sigismoni. She is a renowned director in the music video world. When it comes to a video, she maintains a certain critical eye in the misunderstood art form. She has directed for The White StripesDavid Bowie, Marilyn MansonBjörkThe CureFiona AppleSigur RósMuseInterpolLeonard CohenThe Dead Weather just to name a few.

She’s a music video icon, and a perfect fit for the season finale. Her eye is incredible.

From Perfume Genius “Die 4 You”.
David Bowie “The Stars Are Out Tonight”
The White Stripes “Blue Orchid”
Yes she is responsible for this iconic image!

I wanted to geek out a bit mildly because I didn’t realize I was such a fan of hers until I eyed her long list of accomplishments. Choosing a director for a series season finale (especially if it’s the first season) is really important and Floria Sigsmondi fits in perfectly with the show’s aesthetic.

Neil Gaiman even took to tumblr to give his thanks:  “A huge thank you to three women who aren’t (in my opinion) getting enough American Gods love and credit: Maria Melnik, who wrote Episode 7, “A Prayer for Mad Sweeney”, Bekah Brunstetter who co-wrote Episode 8 “Come to Jesus”, and Floria Sigismondi who directed it”

Betty Windsor is a film snob and co-host of  shows Geek Versus Week and the Graveyard Shift.