S**t and The Ridiculous 6

January 9, 2016

I watched The Ridiculous 6, so you don’t have to.

It sucks.

But in an insufferable way many will shrug, laugh it off and say “I kinda liked it.”  Sometimes the best entertainment is the pile of garbage wearing fancy clothes, and too much makeup trying to distract you from the diaper smell emanating from their undercarriage. These are the movies that earnestly try hard only to succeed at being embarrassments to themselves. In turn, they can be great fun to laugh at. Sometimes you even get cult classics from these mixtures, though often what happens is you’re left with an emptiness after realizing you’ve wasted 2 hours of your life for a cheap laugh. The Ridiculous 6 isn’t even that good.

The first few Twilight films are steaming lovely disastrous shitfests. They were so bad that somehow they looped around to be great/terrible comedies. I made a point of seeing them in theaters, because taking in the audience members who were soaking up every aspect of these piss movies added to the entertainment. Then, director Bill Condon came in and tried to mold something substantial out of this playdough vampire romance turd. He created the Breaking Dawn movies which were more smelly forgettable shit, and less “holy crap come over here and smell this rank dookie”. This rendered them unenjoyable. It’s fun to watch a film fail miserably, but watching someone try to take something hopeless and end up with a mediocre film is just boring.

That’s essentially what happens with The Ridiculous 6. It’s the kind of low brow slapstick that a redneck family watches at Thanksgiving and laughs maniacally at while saying “HO HUM INJIANS ARE SO DUMB LOL HE’S A BAD BOI THAT DUDES RETARDED LOLOLOLL.”

It’s like a shit that comes out after Brew-Cup coffee instead of after cheap Indian food. The After-Cheap-Indian-Food-Shit provides sweet regret after a deviant but tasty meal. You feel a little bad about it, but you saved some money. The Brew-Cup-Coffee-Shit is nothing but a sad regret of cheap imitation coffee when you probably should have visited the local coffee shop. Now you’re constipated, bored, and a little indignant.

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