What would you do if a bear attacked? What if you found yourself falling out of a plane? A thousand zombies are attacking you, now what? We discus this and more in the latest episode of the Geek Vs podcast.
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Things are about to get weird when Tony, Casey, and Betty get together weekly to provide a “nerd’s eye view of pop culture.” These only children geeks have somehow managed not to kill each other, as they do battle with movies, television, and all things pop culture. If you like comedy podcasts with a twist of geekery, you should check out Geek Vs – A pop culture comedy podcast. Proud member of the Giant Size Team Up Network
Tony Henderson 0:00
Hey everybody thanks for tuning in to the geek versus podcast there's a nerds I view of pop culture
shows a proud partner the giant sized team ups network you another cool geeky podcasts go to giant size team up network. com they're all there
is Episode 209 from a fun one today we're doing a what would you do yeah you're like what what does that What do you mean what what I do have some scenarios that case and brought in we weren't Betty and myself. We weren't ready we didn't know he brought in some weird and wacky scenarios we had to figure out what would we do
so that's what we did
anyway we need your help the last week of judging in the slums Georgia local award ceremony, never best podcast category to go to geek vs. Calm you'll see a link to vote.
For us, and then scroll down or do a search and find podcast. They gotta write a sin
vs your favorite podcast. So yeah, if you do that, that'd be great. We'd really appreciate it and
get the show on the road. Let's figure out what would we do hope you enjoy the show
with something fun happened last night
we ran a new big fan of the show, right Ray who gave us pizzas and gave us these toys on our desk
and we came to a something I never knew. But he thought Ray lived in Hawaii okay but he always says Hawaii ray is Hawaii right right way and why and then also he got stuff from Hawaii from the that is very fair that I may I also thought that he was from Did you really? Yes. No.
Tony Henderson 2:00
was Hawaii, right? Because he got his gifts from Hawaii. No. Yeah, yeah. Yeah,
we have them. We have them sitting right here. Yeah. That reminds me of like some high school nicknames of where we just call people by something related to their ethnicity. That's that that's good. That's that's that's not what I do not learn anything from the white people episode told me to go back and listen, but it was fine. Ray is a big fan and supporter and has gotten us cool things. I was fun to bring the two of you all together. Yes. He was so nice. Oh, super cool, dude. Maybe one day that is. We will introduce you. Yeah, sure what
I mean. Yeah, that sounds great. Sorry, right. I'm not I was just doing a bit I would love to meet you. Okay. So what are we talking about today? Okay. Um, and when I say what are we talking today? I legitimately don't know and I didn't look and I'm about to be surprises everyone out. Okay, here's here's what we do. We throw out some situations here. Oh, okay. And jersey shore? Sure.
Come on, buddy. That wasn't even like,
it's stupid. Okay.
You're embarrassed, slightly embarrassed as you should be. No, because it was stupid.
Okay. Okay. I mean, I'll give you that. But
he said, he reacted so fast. So he was just locked and loaded. He's got
Tony Henderson 3:23
But he says situation. I'm waiting.
First thing that pops in my brain. Like this. Isn't. This isn't a word association
Tony Henderson 3:33
jersey. That situation. Snooki
so so I'm gonna throw out some scenarios. And
Tony Henderson 3:43
buster. I'm so do
just Jesus, you have derailed every
Johnny and you guys tell me what you would do in that situation. Okay. And I will see if you serve live the encounter or not. Okay. It's a survival survival situations. Some of them will be easier. Some be more difficult to move, be pretty basic, some big complex, so. But you're the one
Tony Henderson 4:10
that decides if we survive or not. Yes. So just everyone does? Pretty much okay. Spoilers. So,
I've heard you before they they know you well enough to know. Yeah.
Okay. So let's do like a fairly standard one. Okay. Um, let's say you're camping in the woods and a bear attacks. Let's not say attacks, like he's rummaging around, like your campsite, and he sees you and he's starting to get a little aggressive. So how do you handle which kind of a situation um, it's gonna be a great puzzle. grizzly bear. Grizzly, but okay. Yeah.
Tony Henderson 4:46
So how, like, like, saying some things he shouldn't say like, kind of crossing?
Exactly, pretty much, pretty much just an aggressive bear. Like he's rummage around the camp, right? And then you're like, Oh, no, there's a bear. And like, he hears you in the tent. And then he's like, Okay, I gotta go. I gotta go. See what's going on. What's up over here? So. So what do you do? What do you do? And st go seems when it ends
Tony Henderson 5:13
and places. All right, back to one a. Everybody knows whenever you're under bear attack. It's common knowledge. you punch a bear in the nose. And then you pee on yourself. That is practical.
It's like that man did in the TV show.
Alright, so the punch in the nose. I get the P yourself. Like, where does that come into? Play? I was scared. You. Okay. Okay. So that
wasn't part of the plan.
Trying to be real to himself. Yeah.
Tony Henderson 5:40
After I punch it better than knows more than likely. I'll be honest with you guys. I will probably piss myself
before after some late or maybe just whenever the bears like with a little teeny. So. Okay, so this is all happening at the same time. Okay, I don't really see a flaw there. So I'm pretty sure that punching the bear and nose is not gonna have any negative repercussions. So I think you might, you might have made that one. I think. I think you made it up. Boom. So what do you Betty Do you but do loaded. So what do you do Betty and keep in mind, punch in. punch him in the nose. And Pete yourself more? Yeah, I've already been taken. So that's also the other thing to like. If you can't do you can't have repeats.
Okay. Um, I think I will probably
Oh, okay. What I would do is I would set myself on fire or the tent on fire. And then what that would do is that would call in the the only you can prevent forest fires. Smokey the Bear that way. Smokey. The bear would be he would show up, he'd be angry at me. But then you would have a sweet bear fight. And it would be Grizzly versus Smokey the Bear. And then I could watch that or die. Or I could run away. But I would stop. drop and roll before we go out there.
Okay. Because I was gonna say, all right, you succeeded. The bear didn't kill you. Yeah. Okay. But the stop, drop and roll. Okay. I gotcha.
Tony Henderson 7:07
Golden Compass with the bear fights.
Just not the jaw right out of his mouth. Again, no flaws there. Bear Bear fight
apart from me. killing myself. Apart
from that, apart from that, like, there, there's a there's like a 98% chance that you just die hard, like self immolation.
But I gotta say you know you probably made it I like it I like it you made it
fun fact they say that you're supposed to play dead if a bear attacks and they're depends on kind of bear but it depends on the counter depends on situation like if the bear just comes rummaging up around your camp. Yeah, play dead because you know, but if it like actually attacks you it's going to rip you to shreds either way, so the your best bet is to kind of fight back it's really not going to do anything but if you have something like like a canteen or like something nearby you can throw it maybe it'll distract them and you can hope but like these are all very very very simple slim chance of survival anyway
Tony Henderson 8:01
some real like bear attack knowledge on the show or in some stuff
depending on if it's a black or brown bear I can't remember which one but one of them is it is the kind of like ball up and let him just kind of get bored or the other one literally is to make yourself look larger and be loud so that will like like yeah
Tony Henderson 8:23
I know polar bear when I see one but I don't have time like a black can it depends on the sunshine in a dark brown bear and like, here's Should I act. Biggers out of black bear and like, and here's the tricky thing. Like
the names are misleading black bears can be brown and brown bears can be black. It is it's absolutely so that's just
say no matter what, unless you're Steve Irwin, you get a sample. Yeah,
get a hair sample, you take it to your nearest scientists, and they'll do a quick text taxonomic study or whatever and then you can come back and like all right now I know how to continue this encounter me while
Tony Henderson 8:59
you're faces chewed off,
right. Exactly. So So there there's a there's a little bit of survival tips out there for you guys punched in the nose. P yourself. Set yourself on fire or, you know, play dead and or, you know, try to intimidate pots and pans.
Tony Henderson 9:15
It's a koala bear. You need a penicillin? Yeah.
Drop bears, man.
Eventually, it will that chlamydia will eat you up.
Tony Henderson 9:24
Um, it's the bare facts,
their facts. Do you like geek? So the next subject is beats and then Battlestar Galactica,
Alright. Scenario number two.
You You're jumping out of a plane and your parachute doesn't work. There's no way to get your parachute to work, your backup shoots not going to work. It's just you. You're falling. Essentially the scenario. You're falling from, like 20,000 feet. And there's nothing that you can do with your parachute or gear. So what do you do in that session? Like what like as you're at? You know, your mind's racing. You're like, Oh, no, I really wish I had known that this was gonna happen. I could have been prepared. But so
I yell. Shazam. And then I fly away.
Oh, yes. Yeah, sorry, Tony. That has been taken.
Tony Henderson 10:20
I'm falling off the plane. Boy.
And you can't. You can't summon like, the powers of shoes. Am
Tony Henderson 10:31
I gonna say she's
like, I know. It's so obvious. Right? Like, that's the thing
Tony Henderson 10:36
I would I would probably flat myself. My arms it flap my arms myself.
And kind of like
guys dirty. It's dirty. I flat out myself.
Tony Henderson 10:51
Jump back. Um. Okay. flap my wings. A big enough. Like, I wouldn't fly off that stupid slow, like, slow down to be able to guide over to like, some water or something. Yeah,
I see what you're saying. Yeah, Rocky, some squirrel thing going on? My gosh. I can just fly off.
No, no. It's a glide. mitigate your fault, if you
want also look for like a house that has a trampoline and land and the trampoline.
Tony Henderson 11:17
Oh, well, there's trampoline houses. That'd be pretty easy. Yeah,
that's a given. Um, you're not that far off. But yeah, you definitely died. Yeah, you're just, you're a crater, your, your your goo your guru on the earth. But you're actually not far off from like, goo what you're supposed to, like, spread out and like, try and get as much air resistance as possible. And then all then at that point, look around, scout out and see if there's like vegetation or like soft things to land on. And again, you're still probably
Tony Henderson 11:47
like, well, you got a thing if you're that one. If you're that far up in the air, you got a lot. It's a little
Tony Henderson 11:55
it's a long way is some time to think about a time to think about it. roll through your phone and also
Tony Henderson 12:01
that's a given from 911 in
the air a ball and but then whenever you get close to the ground, you want to try to land on the balls of your feet. And then roll because a lot of people they will they might survive the first thing and then they'll bounce the because it's so far they'll bounce and the light the land on their head or something. And then they'll die on the second one. So like you're supposed to try and land on the balls of your feet, curl up and roll and do like a somersault type, you know, pissed off I would be if I fell out of a plane and lit like,
Tony Henderson 12:29
Oh, I made and I was some bullshit like a rock killed me after the fact. Yeah,
I think that you probably wouldn't be that pissed for very long, because you would be Yeah,
Tony Henderson 12:38
but for that short moment. No. Through the room.
I did, man, man. All right. Yeah. So let's try this one. Let's try this one. Okay, so those are fairly fairly common place. All right. Uh, let's do let's do a zombie one. Oh, okay. So here's the situation never heard these before. And I'm listening situation situation
you are at a hardware store
be like, like, your, your, your home debits, your lows kind of thing. Okay. And there's going to be zombies. You don't know exactly when, but they're converging on your location, let's say somewhere between 30 minutes in an hour. But you don't know. Um, you have to survive this encounter. Like a wave. Yeah, like a wave. It's just one wave. It's, it's a wave of 1000. In fact, if you wanna, if you guys want to do Co Op, you can do Co Op for this.
And when which case is going to be to that it's 1000 per person is there I'm sorry. Good. So they're converging on your location. Escape is not like you have to you have to be at this place. And the way that you survive, you have to kill all the zombies to win as encounter. So each person has to kill thousand zombies to get out. Like, once that happens, then you're you can go but there's, there's no there's no like jump off the roof. And then run for like that doesn't that doesn't happen. You have to kill or incapacitate the zombies. And then you're able to go get help. So and then you have between 30 minutes to an hour. You're not exactly sure when so that's, that's the thing that you want to go. This is prep time we go yeah, this is prep time. They're slowly converging on your location. So
so you're in a fully stocked hardware store. There's no other people, no other people at all. There's no radios you can't call for help. Like you have to be the one who does it. All right. And so again, there's there's no it's a perimeter all the way around converging. They don't they don't know exactly where you are. But they're converging in your location and they they know that there's something there but they don't know exactly Yeah, got it. So that's that's the scenario what do you do?
Is there any questions there a ladder in the store? Yes there are many ladders and I mean I'm sorry I didn't mean is there a ladder that leads to the to the rule
Tony Henderson 15:01
okay gotcha you can
yeah I'm sure you could like yeah yeah yeah
I would uh well first I would
I think what I would do is I would actually well if I don't have but 30 minutes I would find all of the gas stuff and I would turn all of it on and then I would probably just kill myself No I was thinking that what I would do is inhale deeply yeah release like what I was thinking is I would
I would get I would see if there's any like flame retardant stuff and then try to I wouldn't worry about bear kidney anything I was just let them all in have all the gas going go and then go to the roof and then try my best to prepare for a giant explosion because I'm going to try to destroy them all once they're all in the store um. And I would do that by I know that they've got like lighters like log lighters and like that yeah I would just throw a match or something down there and before I did that I would say something really cool like good night you did
Tony Henderson 16:22
maybe instead of all that time setting up maybe you should be thinking of your your your kill phrase here sit
on the floor and think of my kill for is
got a man I was a little it down
was a something really cool like
oh yeah well it doesn't matter what I say here's the thing no it doesn't matter what I say then because when I tell the story later I can change it tray that I said something really cool. Like Austin, lovesick baby but a better reference. It
Tony Henderson 16:51
worked for rush hour. Yeah,
I guess I'm gonna say. I guess he's gonna be in rush hour three. And then throw the match down there.
Why the hell did you say that? But.
Okay. I gotcha. Okay,
Tony Henderson 17:05
what does rush hour?
Okay, Chris Tucker. And then throw them out
there we go okay. Chris Ducker so you're just going like just blow everything up and hope you survive.
Yeah cuz I'm not I don't have the stamina to individually fight and to make like a trap. Like to make like a shrapnel bomb red not gonna have the time is not going to kill them. Like it might make them and keep them from moving. But
no. And then I guess at that point, you could go around and just stop some heads. Yeah, I mean, whatever's left. Yeah. Yeah.
Hopefully that'll catch some other things on fire that are in there. And then we'll just gotcha. But yeah. And then I'll just like use the advice that you gave me from the last one. And do like a stop. drop and roll. I mean, roll off the top of the building. Okay. Okay.
Tony Henderson 17:51
Um, the show's not sponsored by the wall or any power tool companies but the wall it makes this like, like radio that has the same the same battery is like all the tools. Okay, you know, they have those like, switch. I can put in this drill. Put in that drill. Yes. So it's like this radio goes. Click put in the radio. Alright, cool. But get one of the 30 minutes plenty time. So I get one of those. Um, I'd have to find the cover of the immigrant song that they use for girl the dragon tattoo. That Nine Inch Nails. Yeah, super dope. I find that I don't know. down the phone or something. Play that loop. Right. Right. I know. an hour to but that's all we're listening to. Right? That's it? Because it's a dope song. Yeah, I'm priorities. Meanwhile, while that's going to dig into the data ended it chainsaws, right can't hold on my arms. get tired. Take them on army darkness style. Granted, he like drilled his inner something. I ain't got time for that duct. tape them on. Ok. And then just tornado spin. Just and I get dizzy. I might puke or something. motion sick. Yeah. A little motion sick. Whatever. Zombies
seem to get some drama me on the
Tony Henderson 19:00
if I have time. That'd be great. And ginger ale or something. I mean, you have
to get that before you like, Oh, no. I take these takes us to
Tony Henderson 19:07
it. I guess like, hey, look, man, sometimes you got to make sacrifices. Yeah. So a couple crackers or something and just spin around with the immigrant song. Nine Inch Nails version plan to just chopping folks up just blue spinning, spinning, spinning, and then that'd be okay. And I just walk out like Edward Scissorhands. But with chainsaws. So
bushes or something. I got you. So 1000
Tony Henderson 19:32
then it would start snowing. 1000 because I'd be changed on the ice. Gotcha.
Okay. So yeah, yeah. 1000 easy. You absolutely easy. You for sure. die. No, you you died. Because before even zombie even got to you accidentally, like cut an artery and bled out
Tony Henderson 19:51
that that probably
like scratch your head,
man. How do I get out of this one. And then like, you put your hand to your head as in thought like, or you face off.
Or like whenever you were training on the second chainsaw, like you got the first one. But then the second one,
I really underestimated the dexterity required to put a chainsaw on the hand. And I'm put that I'm that I'm working with
Tony Henderson 20:16
it. Right. Or? Like hold the duct tape and stretch it out. And you know, the second one wouldn't be as good look a little sloppy, but it get the job done. I gotcha. Okay. Yeah, I did a dead I don't know how long check. Let me battery power. They make battery. chainsaws or? I don't know how long those go.
Oh, yeah, they do.
Tony Henderson 20:33
I would use the same brand. Whether it be the Walter whatever. Yeah. to, you know, to change them out. So I could use the batteries for the radio and the chainsaws. Okay.
I'm just wondering how all this stuff out. It's gonna work. I guess the chainsaw. The last thing you know, an awesomely
Tony Henderson 20:48
okay. That's how awesomely um, yeah, you
can also create a funnel point and then use a nail gun. No, one by one. Because those nails. Yeah, I don't know. I guess if we were working together. If we teamed up then we could create a funnel point with all the shelves to where we are forcing them down a single alley smart. And then we could use nail guns and chainsaws
tell you what a Betty lives Tony died. How about Together Together you have to do 2000. So now you got the co op mode. Now what do you do? Well, because now you gotta you can't just put Well, I mean, I guess you could blow it up. But then you got to worry about other people.
Seems like a nail gun would be the most efficient way if you're just trying to get the brain because you just need to put something in the brain and then they stopped right. Right. Right. So that's what I would think. And it's also I've used no gun it doesn't require a ton of strength the kickback is tire some but I mean in an when your adrenaline. Phil
Yeah. If you're about to get your face eating off. Yeah, I think we would all get over it. And they sell drinks and stuff usually in the hardware stores. Right? Remember like it it doesn't have to be a sprint. It can be like you can do this over the course of like a week because you could probably live off of like candy bars and bottled water
you know they have frickin energy bars are their store have like a lumberjack on there. And I'll hiker
Tony Henderson 22:07
somebody lunch that they may be brought to work that day. And forgot about Yeah, right. Like a Uber Eats or a waiter something. Service
really think the important part. I don't care how we kill it on. That's easy. It has to be the dope soundtrack. Oh, okay. And so I gotcha. Song. chainsaw. nail guns, throws chainsaws. Whatever. Gotcha. I like that.
You are also implementing trauma ahead of time. That's really thinking something because From now on, every time that we hear the immigrant song, we will have flashbacks to this horrible thing that we survived.
That's what you think a song that you hate already. And then
kick ball like, Oh, I would love it suddenly.
Okay. Alright, so I guess you guys made it. Tony is was a little iffy.
I just want to see him. spin
Tony Henderson 23:00
spin move. Let me tell you. I hate spinning. I really because I get dizzy. But like I said, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
I was surprised that you didn't pick like a song like dancing queen. Verse spinning. Because like that, so yeah,
I'm okay. Okay. Next scenario.
I don't know why you would do this. But people do it. You drive your car into a lake, okay. Or the ocean or you get in a wreck you not enough for bridge your cars. Your car sinking in water? Like there's water all around the what do you do?
Tony Henderson 23:33
It was unintentional. You're like, I don't know why people do that. So we
unintentionally Yeah, somehow got our car into a body of water car has fallen into a body of water. That's fairly sizable in all directions in deep enough to completely submerged your car. So it's, it just landed. It just landed on the water. It just plopped in there. And it's starting to sink. Well, what what do you do? I've seen this in a couple movies. And usually there's like an Android like a robot that comes and saves them. Yes, usually. So that's what you're going to put your
maybe an Android will come say
Tony Henderson 24:04
robot could come. Yeah. Usually robots take
robot robot. That was
Tony Henderson 24:12
because yes, yes. Yes. Yeah. angry
at him for not saving his daughter and setting him Yes. Yeah.
Tony Henderson 24:17
for it. Right. Because the likelihood of him living was greater than the kid. And so he was like, but it's a child. You need to factor that in a robot was like, not logic, son. Sorry. I did bitch. Like,
whoa, actually, really
Tony Henderson 24:31
like that movie.
So you're going to count on the robots?
Tony Henderson 24:35
Got it? No, no, I'm going to talk about our robot. Okay. While the cars
this reminds me of that moment, from iRobot. Yeah, you did you died?
is this just out of curiosity? As soon
as it is in, let's say, the fall? Let's say it's in the fall. So it's not a breakthrough. I know. There's no, no chunks of ice. Nothing like that. But it's unpleasant cold to be in the water
Tony Henderson 25:05
and the windows? Do they not roll down the pressure or something that keeps windows from rolling down?
No, it's um, well, it is the pressure because what you would do is you would remain calm and wait for the the pressure to equalize with the lake. And then that way when you open the door or a window, it is not forceful. It is like
thanks, professor. Boring.
I know that's what I was gonna do.
Tony Henderson 25:34
This is one of I know, I'm, this is the most like so far. This scenario, this is the most likely that could happen to somebody. Right? So now they know. Yeah, that's
actually what you do you like you wait for an equalized then you can just open the
Tony Henderson 25:45
door What I would do that's great i got time for that so I focus I think I am a fan of like deep breathing and meditation I really do like the stuff I think it helps yeah I meditate I get my mind right I get my ci right hmm once the fist start glowing and I channel the powers of Cologne
Iron Fist through that bitch like through the front window you also known as the windshield dope front window
Tony Henderson 26:16
the hardest window to break
I thought he was gonna go through the roof
yeah the sunroof could
Tony Henderson 26:23
have got the running of it when you have an iron fist hand channel let's try to lose yeah I'm unleashed the dragon and then just swim out yeah well I was down there might look around see if there's any other cars see if anyone else needs some help while the fist is a glow
make sense there's Betty over there like trying to open our door
sitting there like
wait wait for this no i don't know i to be fair I don't know how you tell when it's equal. Now I think in the biggest part would be trying not to panic and also because you start to hyperventilate if you panic, but also pretty preparing your lungs to hold their breath for a long time is important. So going like really deep painful breaths is good, but I don't know how to tell. I want to equalize
well, water will start to come in, like basically, whatever. You can open it up. Because there's pressure against the door holding it close. Yeah. There's water inside of it. pushing back. Yeah. Then it's equalized. Oh so it's, it's a matter of you have to wait. It's equalized whenever the cars almost full of water. Okay. That's the reason why you got to be real calm and cool about it. Because the whole time a car slowly filling up water. And so what you want it to be as you it'd be just like a narrow little space between the roof and then you just take a deep breath, you just open the door, and then you swim up to the top you surface slowly exhaling on the way up. what's what's that I'm also Denzel Washington movies about a remake of the TV show. Yeah, but that's pretty much what it's about. are struggling underwater. And also, if, if, for whatever reason you just can't wait. You can also try breaking the window. You can take your headrest, usually they're detachable, and you say little metal part right there and crack through the window. But that's a little bit more risky. Because glass and all that
may or glass of water. Yeah,
exactly. So that's not an ideal situation. But if and then also, again, I guess it depends on how long it would take to equalize. Because if you're at the bottom
I was gonna say if you're like, fastly going to a bottom of the lake, you might need to you might not be able to make
Tony Henderson 28:24
pick the pay so right um, they do sell mocking the bottom of the of the headdress they sell those little hammers that look like nothing like that. Yeah,
jack but it's just the focal point is so narrow that you just you just barely, like just barely tapping it shatters the glass, so that that also That's dope. One of those. Yeah, they're pretty cool. I would just go around just Vax vandalism.
Tony Henderson 28:48
That's the human like, they're, they're small if you in your glove box. Yeah.
And then there's also like the kind of that or just the you can keep them in a key chain. Actually, there's little, like little push pins and like, it's sort of like a little stiletto, and you just press it up against last night and you hit the little button and it just shatters the glass.
Tony Henderson 29:04
That's cool. Super cool. It's great for emergency situation very especially people that live around water but if I had that I would just want to break everything exactly. It's not like I have this power I can just shatter this thing
just like the press of a button like I I wouldn't, but man I'll be so tempted.
they break every window in every car in the whole parking lot in our tool? Yeah, exactly. Okay so you guys did all right yeah I think you both I think you both made it that around
99 cent told it sounds like a name and I gave this somebody in high school
Hawaii and re
like that that's a that's a that's just one of those high school nickname so yeah totally normal
okay so there's an avalanche you can't avoid it you see the snow coming down like you
and go like that's
that's all you need and
you go into the minds memoria de
Okay, smart, very smart, like the Mountain View.
And I try and stay really quiet I sneak through so hopefully the goblins don't hear me but I mean, well, that's a whole other thing. I gotta survive. Yeah,
what do you to do? Tony? Keep in mind mine's more he has already been taken.
Tony Henderson 30:24
I was I've already used his myself I can't I can't Iron Fist out of this one. Can I? Because now
Ah. just punch
Tony Henderson 30:33
the snow coming down. No. Build snowballs, like if it's underneath markets I'm covered in it yeah I'd build snowballs and use the snow to build this and then just push them out the way like moving out the way I see the live move it out the way
yeah you refer yeah no you did perfect.
Betty live Tony died. That's cool happened in episode of Simpsons once they lit up the propane tank
Oh yeah. To be fair, probably died once I got and you probably
avalanche about Ragnar
watcher and the lake probably got me before a
thing um. what you're supposed to do is if you're trying to avoid it, you should be able to go not don't run straight from it run perpendicular to it. And so you kind of get out of the way of it that way to mitigate some of that but what you're also supposed to do is like hold your hands and arms like about two to three feet in front of your face and it creates like this little bubble so when everything does collapse you'll still have room to move a little bit and also little trap some air in there so you don't die like three minutes and then funny enough one of the things that you're supposed to do is pay yourself
certainly used to use it now I know like so like search dogs and search parties can find you more easily they can find the scent that way and then at that point you know if you can see some give like try and claw your way out otherwise you're going to use up all of your air and so you just pissing chill
Tony Henderson 32:14
so it sounds like my Saturday night this person show
okay speaking of Lord of the Rings alright so here's here's what your tasks really
Tony Henderson 32:22
yeah speaking of piston show
here's here's what your tasks to do okay all right you have to do you have to go You have to do the destroy the ring tour Oh start from the Shire you have to go to mountain new okay here here's the situation sovereigns not around there's there's not armies of people specifically looking for the right you got that
there is a you know natural evil is still drawn to it so there's still things trying to get you you know trolls goblins very random you know random things mean the hearts of men the hearts of men race alright so you have to take the going all the way from from the Shire all the way to Mount Doom
and again you're not directly opposed by sour on and all of his armies or anything just just the natural stuff is getting
and you get one companion so how do you get from the Shire to Mount Doom
from anything when companion from anything one companion from Lord of the Rings from
Lord of the you know what? No not not anything yeah Lord of the Rings say like a you know it was good to be Superman. Superman.
Different can of worms. So, no, no one one person one one character from from Lord of the Rings
pay myself. No,
Tony Henderson 33:43
don't say just take the bird. Isn't that what they should have done? Real talk? No,
there's a lot I mean, why not? Please let me just burn a geek thing that we've never talked about in the show everyone always like that they criticize Lord of the Rings and they say that the thing is you had to convince the Lord of the Eagles to care just like everybody else to care about carrying the ring the thing in the thing that everybody gets upset about is there like they could have just gone Eagles know this couldn't they're not beast they're intelligent beings that had to be swayed to join the war and they weren't swayed to join the word just like everyone else wasn't in the whole series and everything until the very end because that's when they were convinced because they saw the Army's because I saw the solution. Okay, now, I'm sorry. I just like really upset I get so upset
about also, let's say, let's say you see, like this one Eagle flying across Mordor, what you think's going to happen to that
Tony Henderson 34:35
kind of like holler a dog for a minute. So check it out. Here's what's going on. I could use your help. We got this ring we got to bring up No, you get to pick my companion. Like, if that's your companion then you're good. Yeah, I'm saying like, if I got to convince some of the what just be like, let me highlight it and boom. You know. Yeah. Or if that doesn't accept that because the Lord of the Rings reason? No, it
does. I mean, he's saying we can have any compassion. I just wanted to use what you said to yell and everybody
is very stiff. And Jen doesn't understand the squat happens in Lord of the Rings
and it's also like wicked me Giant Eagle like Yo man you buy him a shot down
yeah bro. There are flying rights. I think
that might be a problem. The whole point was to be in conspicuous
Tony Henderson 35:23
Yes, otherwise, that doesn't work. Uber
Uber to mountain that
sounds like it'd be like yo, hey, I'm down here in New Zealand. Can you take me like 20 miles to
Yeah, I was like singing just put it in the mail and then get and then I could just like pick born here. And then for Mayor Could I and I could just be best friends and go do stuff. Yeah. Like it would literally just be I put it in the mail and then me and bore me or go get t
Tony Henderson 35:49
errands or done. What do you want to go get a drink? Can
we be best friends? Please? Let me tell you about my best
Tony Henderson 35:55
Alright, so that works. Works.
Tony Henderson 36:00
Maybe you can over to Atlanta, which is 100 miles away. 90 bucks. Yeah. Oh,
Dana. You make some good money driving people that we know.
Okay, here's another one. Then you had created a shrink ray. Mm hmm. And through a series of just really poor decisions. In bad luck, you now find yourself shrunk down to about three inches tall. Your shrink ray
and you and your shrink ray have been separated
and you're both in an elementary school and your shrink ray is in the kindergarteners toy box. So you're on like the opposite end of the school. How do you get your shrink ray back? I have a question. Okay.
So I know what I want to do. But I want to ask you if I am that small. Do you think the toys like from Toy Story and other toys would recognize me as a human and start moving around me or would they be cool with talking to me good questions valid you think they would recognize me as one of their own and not freeze?
I think that they would not freeze I think they'd be like I don't know what you are. You're very realistic toy Yeah. And they would yeah they would they would think your toy
that's why we do are you frickin tickle me Elmo. And whatever the kids have nowadays, I don't know Lego roadblocks. roadblocks. I don't know all of the toys. And I'll get them to help me get it.
That's pretty cool. And so you think that But see, here's the thing. It's in a kindergarteners like the classroom and they're gonna be the toys so like they're gonna they're gonna freeze up because the kids you know
it at night. No, you can't.
Okay, okay. Okay. Because what happens at night is the janitor comes along and he's going to see like, what is this? This doesn't look say and he's gonna he's gonna destroy it and
throw it away. And do we know where the shrink racism is that it's in its with the toys that the kindergarteners play with
Tony Henderson 38:09
is the shrink ray in that room in that room. Mini started the shrink shrink to
know this. The children think it's a toy and they are also playing with it. They're not going to shrink. Okay, it's not gonna get code like the safeties on
Tony Henderson 38:21
you know in a room of kindergarteners Yes, I would jump on somebody's head because they all have life Oh yeah. All in kids nasty and got some sort of bugs and lies and crap well then the lice might messy. I could take the right now I would talk to them like the Lord of the Rings. But I'd be like a life let me highlight you for a minute. Here's what's going on. I could really use your help if you don't mind if you help me out. I can shrink some stuff for you. If you need some stuff shrink when I get it. Just Just bear with me. I'll get it right I'm gonna need you to believe me. Trust me here and so it'd be like a like Uber not an Uber because I already use that but like a lice and they go over there I jumped like a live Smith boom
I'm nothing to add to that. That was that was all right. So don't from kids had the kids had to get over there to the toy box one gotcha and then eventually get back to the shrink right but here's the thing though I reverse polarity I would reverse the polarity because you always got to do it but
here's the thing though like you have to set up your shrink ray and you have to like it has to be uninterrupted while you get results and like kids they're gonna be kids all around like so we'll get might step on you I guess probably not on top of the head the risk you got to take
Tony Henderson 39:30
if I'm that small I'm just fit between like the trend of the shoes are some
now you're about three inches tall they can see you did say that
like this but
little taller um.
Oh yeah that's why sighs I hope no one has rice that size these giant lie so about three inches tall
Tony Henderson 39:48
so so really about crappy. Right? All right. Well, then a little taller than the rate toys speaking of rays, and shrink raised right,
the rats, then I'd have to work with the rats. Okay, like the littles you ever watched the little? Yeah, they're friends with the rat, a girl like a saddle or something like that. Yeah,
but then all of a sudden, like one of the kids like happens to notice you and thinks that they want to like I don't know, do kids stuff like, step on you? Or thump you were like sticking their nose or something.
What I would do is I would just like crawl up on a kid get his attention or her attention and be like, give me to your teacher and even if the teacher dismisses the kid I mean like this she's still got to look at the thing that the kid has
a new new thing oh
it's now a religious school and the nuns gonna think you're Damon
Tony Henderson 40:47
Why would I would kind of building off of Betty said get ride ride to get on a kid. Yeah, but talk in their ear and be like, yo, say this Okay, say that and then that'd be I'd say TV the none that Jesus said that you should. Oh boy. Or the shrink RAM and look man I hate to be like that. But you gotta you desperate times call for desperate measures. When you're, you know, I think you're doubting the coherence of a weird, like a five year old here. They're probably not going to be like, Yeah, that's a good idea. Mr. Dude, in my ear.
You know what? I'm just gonna stay small forever. Because if my dumb ass decided to use my shrink ray in a Catholic school, kindergarten, I deserve this that I'm in.
I think that's appropriate.
Just thinking of the absurdity of like, I made a shrink ray and I used to in a classroom of a Catholic school. Actually what happened is you use it in your backyard. And it was a mishap with like, the neighbor's dog and they have a kindergartner
Ah, just like this is my wife now. Yeah, exactly.
Honey, I Shrunk myself. Yeah, pretty much
Tony Henderson 41:55
how many of those did they make? They need to bring that like three or 456 20
I don't know they don't because
they don't don't say don't don't put that Voodoo on me Ricky Bobby I don't want you know unless Rick Moran This is coming back I don't give a
rat's white dude I think he's coming
back here kids are probably a grown by now so he can he's come
Tony Henderson 42:18
time. Yes. He's made a couple of like appearances and stuff
that's awesome. I like Rick Moran yeah yeah
How can you I mean he quit acting because his was his wife died right? You want to take care of his kids? I thought it was sick it's something very
Tony Henderson 42:35
Um. You know we we did mention celebrity deathmatch on the show and they brought it back
yeah so here we go.
Tony Henderson 42:43
No, it's coming.
It's frickin ice
cube. Cube cube. Yes. Good eyebrows. Alright, so but he decided to stay small. Tony did a talking to kids here. Yeah,
Tony Henderson 42:57
you have the real life situation. Yeah. The
real lives situation for that is um,
you don't make a shrink ray. Oh yeah. It's like Oh yeah. I don't know. I don't know why. Like why like that. That's the real life situation. Yeah,
it's so dumb.
Like what what needs to be Sri
Are you Super Glue it to your hand or something? like yeah, you know, you're not separated from like, a dumb ass
Are you always have a nap? Nevermind. That wouldn't work. I was gonna say like, you have a self self retention. Like, like a pill.
Tony Henderson 43:29
Yes, they have that a Alison Wonderland juice. Ready to go.
Are you? Yeah, you just make two
and have one in your pocket? I guess. I don't know.
shrink rings. Yeah. Yeah,
that way. If you accidentally shrink yourself, you just pulled that one out of your pocket and just move back to normal size. So a giant giant Ray and shrink ray. Well, the shrink ray does both. Okay. It's implied. Ok.
Tony Henderson 43:53
Ok. Ok. I missed that part. I'm sorry. That's on me. Yeah,
I mean, I didn't specifically say that. So that, you know, but, but it's just, it's, it's implied.
Dr. Episode, a Harvey Birdman Attorney at Law to do the shrink ray kept shrinking people are. No, it's the attorney that keeps doing it. When he gets angry. He just shrinks people.
Tony Henderson 44:09
I don't want that show. so hilarious. That I'll just laugh because I'm sure it was fun. It
was hilarious. Because he was a great jersey shore.
I think this is the last Yeah, this is the last one. Okay. Okay.
You are given $1 million.
At this point. There's this thing that spawns on the opposite side of the world. Like a snail. The exact opposite side of the world. Yeah, it's not a snail. Okay. It's like a snail. That's all right. It moves at
do after the doctor do math.
No, I'll just keep the money. I'll do the math for you. It moves at one mile an hour and never sleeps, never gets tired is not obstructed by water, anything like it doesn't go through stuff. But like it'll go over mountains. If it gets in a pit. it'll fall down the pit. And then we'll climb back out. It can go across water. Like it doesn't go through the water. But it can it can go over water is not impeded by man made structures. So it can go through man made walls and stuff like that. So you can't like you can't, but you can't box to them. Yeah, and you can't get an essay for him. or anything. You can very, very easily out walk it because you can walk at a very leisurely pace of two mile an hour. So it's twice as fast as this thing, right? If it if it comes into contact with you. You die immediately.
You can see it. You can hear it. You can probably smell it. I'm sure you can detect it with your senses. Obviously, you can't
touch it. So I like a personal tracker of where it is at all times.
No. Okay. And here's the thing like it can't be recorded on any type of other device. The only way that you know where it's at is if you see it or hear it or whatever. But you probably most likely see it doesn't matter what it is. It could be like a glowing ball. It can be like a little little monster. It can be it's nail possibly. It could be like a three foot tall. Kenny Rogers. It doesn't matter. It's It's It's coming. It's coming to get you
just come up with that
as you were like, that's what came here. Hey, little Kenny Rogers
random be singing don't take your love to town. Yeah, over and over and over again. It's not smart. It doesn't have a plan. It's it's not intelligent. Just want to touch. It's just a thing. It's just a thing that's moving at you at one mile an hour. Always. Always. So it spawns on the other side of the world. And I let me double check my numbers real quick. But that should give you about a year and three months before you even have to before it gets sorted out. Before before it can can touch you. So yeah, about a year in three months. Um, so what do you do? Like, like, this happens forever. Like, this is this is just your this is your life now,
okay. I'm guessing it can't be destroyed. It can't
be destroyed. There's no way out of it. You just have to live the remainder of your days as long as possible. Like, you know, you might lose a little weight because it's kind of stressful, because again, you can't track it. You don't know where it's at until you see it. And whenever you see it's like, well,
Tony Henderson 47:19
so my first question
but you but again, like you should never really it shouldn't be able to touch you. Because you should always be you can out walk it
does. It constantly changes trajectory, depending on where I am, or does it had to the spot that I was in the beginning and then continue to have they're constantly changes wherever you are. It's basically it constantly reroute depending on where you're at. Well, if I was had a million dollars, I would just build an airship. Anyway. So I'll build airstrip and live there. Like at the end. How's Moving Castle? That's the reason why I didn't give me 10 million.
Originally. I was like, let's do it. Let's do 20. Listen, wait a minute. No. Because again, I will wanted to be enough resources to like get you by survived by but not like, I'm just gonna build a I'm going to build a skyscraper on
Tony Henderson 48:08
this one. And that's it. Now I have a question first have to do do you sleep at night? Or do you just stay up thinking of this stuff? Now, this stuff?
I mean, I thought of this one about two weeks ago. And then I was I did. I didn't think about it for a little while. Because I was like, Well, what about this? What about that? Let's tweak the numbers here. Let's do that.
Could it be picked up moved? Can I interact with the end in any way you can't? Nothing can
it can't be changed what it does it does and it can't be affected impeded, slow down, stopped, begged, borrowed, negotiated with some some just want to watch the world burn
Tony Henderson 48:46
can't be a blob. Let me how actually from many
can be Can I give the blob a million dollars. And it leaves me alone? Can I bribe it?
No. Okay. Unfortunately, not like it's just slow. So really, the really the only thing that you can do is just try to live your life trying to live your life as long as possible. Because eventually it's going to get you maybe we're already we're out of time before you die us up for some from something else. But like, here's the thing. Like, if you go to sleep at night, you have to know that it's at least eight to 10 hour, eight to 10 miles away. Right. And again, because if you go to sleep admit and how much you sleep. Oh, you see what I mean? Because if it moves at one mile an hour and a gotcha. Yeah. And if it's if it's five miles away, and you sleep for eight hours, you're dead? Oh,
when? How? When can my aware with of it? How will how. What's the contact range?
The contact ranges as far as you can see, Oh, okay. Like, the only the only way to detect it is with your senses.
I would just I would just some, the only thing I would do is just move I would constantly move back and forth from two points. So like if it if it is it this one spot. And let's say that it's like, you know, where the, this is the circle, we're on each end. And I move this way. And so it keeps moving this way. And I'd wait like a couple of months. And then I would move over here. And then it would be like, maybe would shift try and go this way. And then I don't know
for the listeners. She is using a coffee cup. I'm using
Tony Henderson 50:16
that what what she's describing is the run around the car method. Yeah. Where you got someone on the other side and sort of dig a little the left you go the other the opposite direction. Yeah. And try to try to keep that going.
And I guess I wouldn't be able to tell if it actually follow through with that. So I would just
Tony Henderson 50:35
probably just travel that's the kicker. That's that's everything in my head. I'm like, crap. I don't know where it's
at. Exactly. boards it. So what I would do if you ever see it, like, actually, that's probably a good that's a good thing. Yeah. Cuz then you then you can like, all right, well, now I can plan the next several months. When
I go find it. Like stick a tracking device on it.
No, Batman style. Um, you did the math, if you'd said it's a year and some months until it it gets close to you. It's about a year and three months because it starts on the other side of the world circumference is 22,000 miles or but half of that 11,000. So that many out anyway, the point is, yes, it's about a year and three months,
I would just move the opposite sides of the world every year.
Tony Henderson 51:17
That's that's what I wasn't saying. I would give it some time, I would hang out for as close as I felt comfortable year, year and a month to let it get close. Right. And then I say boost. Not literally boost. But go to the other side. Right. And then hang out for about a year and a month.
Let it get close. I'd also hire somebody that's good at math. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So I would also use my money. Also to hire somebody who's good at math who could literally like track and tell me like, assuming that, you know, using my coffee cup is the globe and we're on different parts. After a year, it would be like this is the circumference are like, this is the area in which it might be as
the estimated range, and then I would move the other thing, and it would just like, I would use the map guide to tell me within a circle that way, if I wanted to, like go visit Japan, I would know I would have an idea of where the range of
where it could be like, I know Japan is off limits for these next week.
Tony Henderson 52:13
I'd have I'd have an analyst on retainer. I gotcha. And
if I yeah, and if I run out of money than I would just be like, All right, I'll die. Okay. That's it. Yeah. Once
Tony Henderson 52:21
the money's out, as you still coming for you. Yeah,
he still can't be that are doing startup. That's the reason why like, oh, and another thing, it doesn't matter too much. But I forgot to add that nobody else can see it or hear it or knows that exists. Gotcha. Yeah. But if you're paying them, they'll be like, but. But if you're trying to explain the situation, someone like, You're crazy. You're crazy. Exactly. So but you can like if you pay the analyst? Sure. Fine. Whatever. Okay. Yeah,
Tony Henderson 52:44
he would just be he doesn't have to see he's not reporting on where it's at it. He's just given me my right. I mean, like,
I could tell us for a video game or something. Can you build an engine or something that calculates this
Tony Henderson 52:55
right? I'd be like, Here's your money, mind your business and give me my numbers. Right.
So okay. Yeah, I mean,
whenever I was making this up, I was trying to think of what I would do. And that was pretty much the only thing that I could settle on to, I think what I specifically did was, I would have, I would get a place on the east coast and a place on the west coast. And you would have about three months on each side, like, you'd live three months on one side, and then you can move three months or the other, but that's the closest because you'd
have to go back and forth. Yeah, do and then you'd
have to invest some of your money, some of your money would have to be invested. So you could have a constant stream of income. I was gonna say that million dollars runs out real quick.
Tony Henderson 53:35
That's good. I know, that's crazy to say, but a million dollars is not that much money. Um,
it is if you invest it, and if you're spending if you're being easy, and saying something like, you know, spending $100,000 on a house and then spending another hundred thousand dollars in a house, you can easily spread out the rest of it. I mean, you could just say that, and then that way, you're only going back between your two homes. Right? Yeah.
So I mean, to me, that's the only way it makes sense to me. And that's what you guys came up with. So I feel good about that.
Cool. If you feel good. Yeah, that
matters to me. Yeah, it's just the kicker to me was not being able to track it. Like To me, that's the most like the horrifying thing about it.
Tony Henderson 54:13
What, what's the movie? I want to say? It was based on a twilight zone or an outer limits or something where I might have have Matt Damon, where
Matt Damon wasn't just a beer where they have the box. I think, what is pal? chosen? Oh, the box where you push the button, and you get a million dollars with someone, somewhere? dies. What movies do this all the box
is a pretty sure. Maybe not trying to be. I think I know it's got Frank Langella in it. He's the he's the dude who offers the box
zip like a hat. A coat like
Yeah, yeah, he's got the messed up phase. Is
somebody random? Or somebody close to you? That dies?
It says somebody random.
Oh, yeah, I would do that. So I would do like eight times and then never use it again. Honestly, like the only person I care mon on dying is Daniel. You
Tony Henderson 54:57
say oh, that's it. You take the chance. If we're being honest. Yes,
7 billion people. I would just spam that button for a while. And we I'm not. I'm not like if I went to I don't have to see the fall out for like, because what are the odds? Like the one in 7 billion? All right,
it's probably not going to be Daniel you know,
I hit it 100 times like oh yeah, it's still you know, like it's probably not there are people who starve and every day that's my just that's that's how I would like that's how I would really a morally justified is like people die of cancer. And so I'm just gonna push push, push, push, push, push
push line of myself to like, it's like, you know, freakin random. Somebody I knew from like, high school died, but it was like a heart attack and be like, wasn't me
like, probably happen naturally.
They had an autopsy. It's like we couldn't find the cause of death. I don't know
man. We can go so far.
Tony Henderson 55:52
Like they don't tell you so much. You believe a lot of things that a million dollars correct myself. I was. I forgot who I said was in it. That's not who it was. It was Cameron Diaz and James Marsden. Okay, and Franklin john so but yeah, like you said concept
were reminded me being real. I would like to think that I wouldn't, but I know that I would. Yeah, totally. Uh, one anybody who says otherwise is either already ridiculous, either lying or already so rich. That a million dollar doesn't matter. Like, if I were a billionaire. I probably wouldn't them because it'd be like, What do I care? Yeah, but like this right now? Yeah,
Tony Henderson 56:28
I got I got a student loans. Someone got to go. Yeah,
I like playing the Bongo. That thing. Let's go. Yeah.
And then I would build like a geek versus Fun House when it would just be like a castle for us
Tony Henderson 56:40
with with with the heads on pikes in front of this castle was sponsored by all these. Yes,
yes. We get like a million dollars a pop. That clears up a lot of guilt. Especially whenever you don't see it front. Yeah.
Tony Henderson 56:54
And this is I don't even think it was a million dollars a pop. I think it was like you have 24 hours if you want this million or not sorted. I
didn't even get you didn't. I didn't even finish the pitch.
Tony Henderson 57:06
So you get a million done, aren't you? I wish I remember. I'm sure someone will fill me and I don't remember how the movie ended. I want to say it hit close to home.
Now. The premise is like spoilers. If you don't want to hear how the movie of this of this old movie, I haven't seen it. But if I if I remember what I've heard correctly, is it's it's supposed to go to like a random person. And then so you hit the button or whatever. And then the box goes to another person and they hit the button and it kills you. So it's so it's a random person but it's randomly the person before you
Tony Henderson 57:39
it was Twilight Zone and part of that particular movie was more about the conversation of the couple you know and what they're going through the side if they push it or not.
Right. That even a cases movie that's not even like a conversations like I don't tell, you know, I don't tell my mice. my significant other. I just hit the button. We got a million dollar.
Tony Henderson 58:01
You're single. Ha ha. Yeah. Like, there's some things you should probably discuss as a family.
Whether or not you're gonna murder so yeah, maybe so. But look, man, that guy the box. It looks like honey, it was right there. Uh, he didn't. He didn't give me a time to show what I thought he said earlier, gave me 24 hours and say, Oh, yeah. Well, see, like, I mean, I didn't want I didn't want you to have that. But like, I didn't want you to stress out. It's done. It's done. Why are we still talking about it? We got the money. Are we still talking about it? You're welcome. You're welcome. Don't talk to you got to make decisions.
Tony Henderson 58:35
I made an executive decision.
Kids going to college now. Right, right. I stood up and I did what I had to do for this family. What did you do? Click as all you do. Are you doing is nagging me right now. I took action. I hit the button. Our kids are taken care of. What have you done? Karen
Tony Henderson 58:55
nagging, nagging. Someone might
die. They did die.
Was it? Somebody know? What do you know anybody who died recently? All right. Then we good. All right,
Tony Henderson 59:05
folks. There you have it. First off look like I know none of our listeners would press the button right or what? Just let us know. Find us on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram. Press the button from that movie the box with the guy who I thought was Matt Damon but it was sidecar. Hope you enjoyed this week's episode. Thank you so much for listening. We'll see you in a week.